Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Mom said you looked used
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
