what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
