I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You dont lie about slip and slides
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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