so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
