Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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