so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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