That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
