How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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