I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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