I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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