you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
