the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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