Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
