Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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