All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
