I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
