Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Drunk is not a location!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
