i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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