Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
my liver is dry heaving
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
