I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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