Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
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If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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