i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
