that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
