he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
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Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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