Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
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what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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