He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
