i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
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I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
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I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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