SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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