I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
