woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
