Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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