I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
