Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
