i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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