They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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