Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
