booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
