Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i was born a porn star she said
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
