he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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