hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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