we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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