I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
