Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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