you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I deserve this hangover.
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