ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
