the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
