brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
two words: eviction party
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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