my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
