First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
