I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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