I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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