That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
