operation harelip BJ is a go
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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