What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
