My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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