who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
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Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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