I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
